If you are a close follower of our work at Triage, you will probably be aware that I am currently a Medical Student. Having entered medical school while working full time with Triage, I knew I was in for a bumpy ride, and that probably reached its peak this year.

 

Being a Graduate Entry Medicine (GEM) student, I have just completed by 3rd (of 4) years. This year gone by, which is technically "Year 4" of 5 of Direct Entry Medicine (DEM), was quite a heavy year, and included the following subjects:

 

- Obstetrics & Gynaecology

- Paediatrics

- Medicine

- Surgery

- Anaesthesia

- Emergency Medicine

- Therapeutics

- Forensic Medicine

- Psychiatry

- Ear, Nose & Throat

- Ophthalmology

- Dermatology

- Behavioural Medicine & Patient Safety

- Research for Medicine & Health

 

Enough to keep the mind busy, for sure.

 

To close out the year, I had a total of 7 exams, which included the above subjects, some of which were bunched together. These exams were held in close proximity, and thus, the 4-6 weeks prior were a busy period of preparation, resulting in less sleep and a lot more stress than I would normally be exposed to.

 

Prior to my first exam (Psychiatry), I struggled to sleep the night before, and felt incredibly anxious that morning. The week ahead just seemed like hell, and I knew I had Triage work to take care of as well. No matter how hard you have studied, that morning before the first exam is always rough, and that is the point at which I typically experience the greatest self-doubt;

 

 

Those thoughts raced through my mind, as they often do. When you are in this anxious state, your thoughts become irrational. It doesn't matter that I can reflect on all of my "A" of "First Class Honours" grades achieved in the past; in that moment, I always feel like this is the time the cycle will be broken.

 

Despite this anxiety, I still do my best to challenge my thoughts and bring them back in line with reality. And typically, once that first exam is done, I begin to settle in and focus solely on the task at hand. Focus on the next question, forget the previous. Focus on the next exam, forget the previous, ignore that which comes after. If I can get my mind into that state, that is when I enter the "flow" that carries me through. 

 

Most of us are a lot more resilient than we think. We can endure a lot more than we expect. When I reflect on all that I learned this year, all of the assignments, presentations, essays, exams, and so on, it seems like a lot on its own. When I add on my work with Triage, training, and other personal commitments, it seems totally absurd. Yet, I got through it, and not because there is anything special about me. I simply committed.

 

When you commit to something, you are pretty much forced to follow through. The exams come with a deadline. If I studied the same material in isolation, in a self-led manner, do you think I would put in the same effort? No, of course not. It's not me, I don't have special virtues, I simply committed to the path that was laid out before me, and I either follow through or let myself down.

 

During my exams, with just one exam down, we also got some end-of-life news at home. When a family member is given 2 days to live (still here 3 weeks later mind you!!), it really helps put things into perspective. Initially, I thought that getting through my exams would be even worse now, but in fact, the shift in perspective toward appreciating my family, loved ones, and time with them, meant that stressing over what grade I got was far lower on my list of priorities. Therefore, I just did what I could, showed up, and didn't worry too much about that which was beyond my control. 

 

Overall, there were many lessons learned during those few weeks. Endurance. Resilience. Perspective. All challenges come with their own rewards, and that is the real point I want you to take-home...

 

Look at your own life. Forget mine. It doesn't matter what I do. What I want you to do is ask yourself if you are really doing all that you can to be your best? Could you endure more? It doesn't mean that you should, but many of us get stuck in a routine in which we might feel "busy", but lots of our time is spent on meaningless and sometimes harmful expenses. Could it be spent better? Could you do more high quality work?

 

Maybe, maybe not, but ask yourself the question. You're capable of so much more than you think!