Don't you worry, I'm not about to play psychologist, or give you the secret "hack" against depression and anxiety. Rather, these are merely some personal lessons that I have learned over the last few years.
At times, people close to me accuse me of being a little too "detached" from my emotions, as if my sole goal is to minimise them. To a degree, that is true, but not entirely. The way I conceptualise it myself is more along the lines of "hey, you've got shit to do, and how you feel doesn't really change that". However, I do indeed use my feelings, emotions, etc. as feedback as to how I should[n't] be behaving, and I want to use this post to illustrate
that.
For example, Instagram (or social media in general) and I have a bit of a turbulent relationship. When I use it too much, I notice that I get a generalised feeling of anxiety, as if the pressure in my head is increasing and the back of my head is pulsing. This tends to affect my ability to focus on tasks that need to get done, and it feels like the complete opposite feeling to that experienced during reading or
deep work. Without getting specific about what it is about social media that leads to that, the point is that I notice that feeling. It's consistent, it's reproducible, and most importantly, reversible.
This is the key point. Acknowledging that feeling of anxiety is the important part for me, as I can then actually address it. Whether that be taking a complete break from social media, monitoring screen time, or not keeping any social media apps on my phone (this is permanent for me), I can actually create a solution. The solution(s) then reverse the feeling, so that I can move forward.
Similarly, when I engage in tasks that may be regarded as deep work (e.g. studying, writing, reading) for multiple hours, I know that I feel fantastic. That dull feeling of anxiety disappears. Therefore, that is an example of using the observation of a positive feeling to reinforce my behaviours.
I essentially try to live my life like this. I try to acknowledge what I feel and create a workable solution. This isn't about chasing "happiness" or "positive vibes". Often, that pursuit can lead you down the short-term route. Using Instagram can lead to acute feelings of happiness, rewards, etc., but if you feel worse after an hour of doing something than you did before doing it, that's a net loss.
This is why exercise is the perfect antidote to short-term reward; it feels horrible during the process, but everyone knows that you always feel better about doing a workout than not doing one (unless you got injured, sorry...). Studying is similar; at the time, you know you could be doing something more acutely rewarding, but there are few feelings better than finishing a few hours of study knowing that 1) you have ticked that off
the list, and 2) you now have more knowledge and are literally a different person to the person who started that block of study (for the better, hopefully).
In summary, this is not advice, it's simply how I try to approach my own emotions/feelings, which is why I'm not hitting you with pscyhological jargon and instead telling you what I do and why I do it. I am far more concerned with what makes me feel good at the end of the day, not what makes me feel good at each individual moment. In my experience, the feeling of reward from eating junk food, scrolling social media and lazing around all day is never as
rewarding as the feeling of your head hitting the pillow after a day of meaningful work, study, and hard training.
Maybe I'm wrong...
Until next time... Keep it 2ez.
